Brian Oliu
Virus Definition 1
Scanning
Scanning
Scanning
Scanning
Scanning
Virus FOUND! Blink blink bug blink blink blink
Virus definition WARNING oliu.A1122 is a metamorphic virus.
Oliu.A1122 is a metamorphic virus that can reprogram itself.
Oliu.A1122 can translate its own code.
Oliu.A1122 appears to be non-malicious code, but re-writes itself.
Oliu.A1122 appears to be re-writing itself.
Oliu.A1122 is not rewriting itself.
Oliu.A1122 is itself.
Oliu.A1122 is not itself.
Oliu.A1122 is it.
Oliu.A1122 is all there is.
Oliu.A1122 is all there was.
Oliu.A1122 is a fat six-year-old.
Oliu.A1122 is carrying a totebag with a cereal hawking rabbit on it.
Oliu.A1122 is following no rabbits.
Oliu.A1122 is a snake.
Oliu.A1122 is the skin of a snake.
Oliu.A1122 is a thin layer.
Oliu.A1122 is a potato chip.
Oliu.A1122 is a chip.
Oliu.A1122 is thinking about chipping your tooth with his fist.
Oliu.A1122 is thinking about biting your fist with his tooth.
Oliu.A1122 is thinking about byting your face with his.
Oliu.A1122 is facing left.
Oliu.A1122 is looking north.
Oliu.A1122 is developing a habit of closing his eyes and looking to the heavens when trying to memorize index cards.
Oliu.A1122 is developing a habit of rubbing his eyebrow with his knuckle when trying to memorize index cards.
Oliu.A1122 is developing a habit of teething his fingernails when he is nervous.
Oliu.A1122 is developing a habit of scratching his nose with the back of a fingernail when he is lying.
Oliu.A1122 is lying.
Oliu.A1122 is lying like a snake.
Oliu.A1122 is lying in the grass like a snake.
Oliu.A1122 is nature.
Oliu.A1122 is natural.
Oliu.A1122 is false.
Oliu.A1122 is function liberate(string s)
if halt(s, s) == false
return true
else
loop forever.
Oliu.A1122 is forever.
Oliu.A1122 is rewriting itself.
Oliu.A1122 is appearing to be non-malicious code, but re-writes itself.
Oliu.A1122 is the Catalan word for olive.
Oliu.A1122 is blind.
Oliu.A1122 has 20/160 eyesight.
Oliu.A1122 wakes up each morning, and puts contacts in.
Oliu.A1122 first wore glasses in third grade.
Oliu.A1122 woke up one morning and couldn’t see the chalkboard in Mrs. Munk’s classroom.
Oliu.A1122 saw the color of people’s eyes for the first time when he was seven.
Oliu.A1122 got contacts in 7th grade.
Oliu.A1122 gave himself pink-eye while putting them in.
Oliu.A1122 told a boy named Jordan in 8th grade that no one would notice that he got contacts, because no one noticed that he got contacts. They noticed that he got glasses.
Oliu.A1122 is the patron saint of blindness.
Oliu.A1122 never saw that coming.
Oliu.A1122 is the most amazing, most sensational, dramatic, heart-rending, exciting, thrilling.
Oliu.A1122 is given the axe, given the axe, given the axe.
Oliu.A1122 right in the neck, right in the neck, right in the neck. There!
Oliu.A1122 is a scarlet handkerchief.
Oliu.A1122 is holding the severed head on the neck.
Oliu.A1122 is squibbed.
Oliu.A1122 is picked up at the 43 by a real estate agent.
Oliu.A1122 is advanced to the 48.
Oliu.A1122 is thrown backwards to the 44.
Oliu.A1122 is ahead to the 49.
Oliu.A1122 is knocked back to the 48.
Oliu.A1122 is across midfield and lateraled to a future murderer.
Oliu.A1122 is thrown blindly over a shoulder, like spilled salt at the 26.
Oliu.A1122 is the screw of 82.
Oliu.A1122 is smashed into a trombone.
Oliu.A1122 is sorry for that, Cecilia. So sorry.
Oliu.A1122 is pure like a saint.
Oliu.A1122 is white like a saint’s relic.
Oliu.A1122 is made of milk.
Oliu.A1122 is made of fat-free milk.
Oliu.A1122 is made of free milk.
Oliu.A1122 is a forgotten liberation.
Oliu.A1122 is mongénéral.
Oliu.A1122 is la chienlit.
Oliu.A1122 is la grande Zohra.
Oliu.A1122 is dans l’aéroport.
Oliu.A1122 is defined by its weaknesses.
Oliu.A1122 we are on to you.
What do you want to do with virus oliu.A1122? What is your course of action with virus oliu.A1122? What do you want to do with virus oliu.A1122? Would you like to place him in a folder? Would you like to place him in a folder with intent to delete? Would you like to place him in a folder with intent to let him sit there and think about what he has done, infant terrible that he is or may become? Would you like to send him elsewhere, out of your mainframe, out of business-creamed towers, out of the air? Would you like to send him back to whence he came? Would you like to eat him? Would you like to ingest his scrap like scraps? Like grizzle? Like waffles? Would you like to send him back to the source in hopes that he would somewhere, anywhere, not turn malicious and against himself? Is that what you would like to do? Yes? No? Cancel? Yes.
Cannot delete file; file is in use. What do you want to do with virus oliu.A1122? What is your course of action with virus oliu.A1122? What do you want to do with virus oliu.A1122? What is your course of action with virus oliu.A1122? Would you like to attempt to clean virus oliu.A1122? Would you like to attempt to dissect virus oliu.A1122 in an attempt to quarter and separate all of its separate parts for the sake of cleanliness? Are you okay with this? Yes? No? Cancel? Yes.
Scanning…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Cleaning and future usage, perhaps in a nice datekeeper program, or a beautiful screensaver of Ireland or some place equally mystical and full of history or a spreadsheet where you keep numbers that tell you when you can buy that diamond or car or appendectomy is not possible; severe obesity of figures, bloated code, and misplaced symbols renders otherwise good code useless. Cancel? Cancel.
What to do with virus oliu.A1122? Do you wish to desiccate and mummify? Yes? Yes. The user agrees to cut open the code and begin packing the insides with crystallized sugar. The user then agrees to pour molasses onto the code, filling in pores and gaps where code should be and stretch marks where symbols once where with high fructose syrup. The user will then use red licorice rope to sew and save the file shut, and then spackle all privacy settings over with cake frosting. The code will never spoil. OK.